Personal Growth - How To Avoid Burnout & Reduce Stress

HOW TO AVOID BURNOUT

& REDUCE STRESS

Part 1

Part 2

Part 3

Part 4

First, a story

Andrew was pissed off. He couldn’t believe this guy did that. “What the hell is wrong with people? I can’t catch a break he thought. He just wanted to make this damn company work! Not too much to ask! He felt pressure in his neck and chest. That happens sometimes when he’s having a bad day. All the days seem to be bad lately.

He gets another phone call, and a customer who had scheduled a job decided to cancel it. They were going with someone else. He tried to remain calm and reason with the people. They weren’t going along. Suddenly and spontaneously he starts yelling into the phone. Then he starts banging the receiver on the desk, as his frustration erupted into a rage. Then he sweeps everything off the desk and onto the floor with his arms. He storms out of the office, and gets in his truck, saying “this is all bull*&%#!” He starts driving, not knowing where to. It was only 10 am. This didn’t happen just today. Andrew was working 80 hours a week trying to do it all. He was tired, frustrated, and had no patience. He was “done”. Fried. And now he realized that one day he’d have to return to his office and face the staff that watched or heard his tirade. He knew everyone in the company would hear of it by days end. He hurt his ability to lead, and made it worse.

HOW MUCH IS TOO MUCH?

An entrepreneur can’t have zero stress.

That’s not possible when you are trying to create something out of nothing and order out of chaos. But too much is no good either. It turns out some stress can help motivate and energize us and focus our attention. Too much stress for too long and we get burnout.

WHAT IS “BURNOUT?”

Physical or mental collapse caused by overwork or constant stress.

It’s a state of emotional, mental and physical exhaustion caused by excessive and prolonged stress. It occurs when you feel overwhelmed, emotionally drained, and unable to meet constant demands. When you are burned out, you can feel like problems are insurmountable, everything looks bleak, and it is difficult to muster up the energy to care – let alone do something about your situation. The unhappiness and detachment that burnout causes can threaten your business, your relationships and your health. You lose your interest and motivation. Burnout reduces productivity, and saps your energy, leaving you feeling increasingly helpless, hopeless, cynical and resentful. Eventually you may feel like you have nothing more to give. The negative effects can spill over into your home life, and make long-term changes in your body that make you vulnerable to illnesses and disease (“dis-ease”).

YOU MAY BE BURNED OUT IF...

• You feel every day is a bad day

• You are exhausted all the time

• You find caring about your work or home life seems like a total waste of energy

• You spend most of your day on tasks that you find dull and unimportant, or overwhelming

• You feel like nothing you do makes a difference or is appreciated

• You have a sense of failure and self-doubt

• You feel helpless, trapped and defeated

• You have little sense of satisfaction and sense of accomplishment

• You are increasingly cynical and negative

YOU MAY BE MORE PRONE TO BURNOUT IF...

• You have perfectionistic tendencies; nothing is ever good enough

• You don’t get enough sleep • You don’t have close supportive relationships

• You have a pessimistic view of yourself and the world

• You have a need to be in control and a reluctance to delegate to others

• You have a high achieving “Type-A” personality

A “Brownout” – a less serious version of burnout. It comes before burnout if you don’t restore yourself. If you are burned out, and you try to push through the exhaustion and continue as you have been, it will only cause deeper stress and a longer burnout period. That’s to say, the world is giving you feedback – “when you think like this and do this, this is what you get. And until you make changes, you will keeping getting what you are getting.”

WHAT IS STRESS?

1. Demands on your time or abilities that aren’t easily met.

2. Stress is what arrises when something you care about is at stake.

Some people can handle many stressors, and others few. So burnout can occur at different levels of stress for different people.

THE DIFFERENCE BETWEEN STRESS & BURNOUT.

Burnout can be the result of unrelenting stress but it isn’t the same as too much stress. Stress involves too much; too many pressures that demand too much of you physically and psychologically. However, stressed people can still imagine that if they can just get everything under control, they’ll feel better.

Burnout on the other hand, is about not enough. Being burned out means feeling empty, devoid of motivation, and beyond caring. People experiencing burnout often don’t see any hope of positive change in their situation. If excessive stress is like drowning in responsibilities, burnout is being all dried up. And while you are usually aware of being under a lot of stress, you don’t always notice burnout when it happens – as it often develops slowly.

Burnout

• Characterized by disengagement

• Emotions are blunted

• Produces helplessness and hopelessness

• Loss of motivation, ideals and hope

• Leads to detachment and depression

• Primary damage is emotional

• May make life seem not worth living

Stress

• Characterized by over-engagement

• Emotions are over-reactive

• Produces urgency and hyperactivity

• Loss of energy

• Leads to anxiety disorders

• Primary damage is physical

• May kill you prematurely

HOW TO RECOVER FROM (& PREVENT) BURNOUT

There are lots of things you can do to regain your energy, will, and optimism again.

1. Sleep more.

Getting enough sleep is critical. You’ll be more productive and happier. You’ll be able to deal with things better and your world will seem happier. You’ll get more done and enjoy it more. Jeff Bezos, CEO of Amazon, wrote a paper called “Why my sleeping 8 hours a day is good for Amazon shareholders.” It is. A leader who is sleep-deprived is not a good leader. Put your phone and computer away and shut the TV off 30 minutes before you go to bed. Why? Because you’ll stay up later paying attention to it; you know this is true.

2. Take time off.

If you are really burned out, you have to take time off. And one day won’t do it. Recovering from burnout is not just catching up on a night’s sleep. It may take several days or a week or more. When you do take time off, completely disengage. Tell your staff you won’t be available. Shut off email, and don’t try to stay in touch and keep up with what is going on. If you had a heart attack, you wouldn’t be worried about the office. Burnout is serious. Get better.

3. Eat right.

The mind lives in the body. They are connected. Eating greasy fattening junk food and sugar only puts us on an energy roller coaster. Fast food gives us little choice. Eating healthy foods out takes time, or they also have junk on the menu that is hard to resist. Pack a lunch from home most days. This way you can control what you eat. Cook extra at dinner, so you can have lunch the next day(s).

If you are addicted to caffeine, nicotine, or have other food addictions, you are not helping yourself. Be moderate or get help. Alcohol and drugs should be avoided. If you need help, get it.

4. Exercise.

You’ve heard it thousands of times before. Get your heart rate up 4 times a week for 30 minutes or more. This helps relieve stress and helps the mind process information. You’ll sleep better and ultimately feel better. Besides that, you’ll live longer to enjoy your success.

5. Ask for help.

Trying to do too much is a recipe for failure – just what you were trying to avoid. Let your team help you. They can do more than you are asking them to. Delegate.

6. Social interaction – don’t isolate yourself.

Social contact is nature’s antidote to stress. The face and the heart are wired together in the brain, so talking face to face with someone else can help to quickly relieve stress. Talk to someone who is a good listener. That person doesn’t have to be able to fix your problems, just listen without being distracted or judging you. Opening up won’t make you a burden to others. In fact, most friends and loved ones will be flattered that you trust them enough to confide in them, and it will only strengthen your friendship.

Invest in your closest relationships – your spouse, children and best friends. When these relationships are going well, it can help a lot. Be more sociable with people you work with. Engage people. There are times when they lean on you as the leader. You can draw energy from them when you need it. Don’t show you are injured, just be social. Get away from negative people. Some people love to revel in the darkness with you, and agree that things are bad. They are not the kind of people you need around you.

7. Manage your relationship with technology.

Don’t get drawn into others’ agendas via email, social networking, tweets and texts. Manage your focus. Reduce distraction. Shut your phone off or use airplane mode.

You’ll never keep up with what the rest of the world wants you to pay attention to – so don’t try. Take care of yourself first.

8. Shoot the arrow.

Don’t look at email first thing in the morning. Take time for reflection and self-introspection. Look at the broader picture of your life. Remind yourself of what and who you are grateful for and what is going well. Revisit your goals, and envision your best day unfolding just perfectly.

9. Do a Brain Dump.

Being overwhelmed is having a full brain – stuff, thoughts, and junk.

Write down all the things you have to do. Then highlight just three things that are most important that you feel compelled to do; the three things that are bothering you by not being taken care of, and if completed, would make you feel better. Make up your mind that the rest can wait. Then do those three things, one at a time, and don’t worry about the rest.

10. Say NO.

In the 1800’s, ships crossing the Atlantic were sinking in heavy seas because they were loaded down with too much cargo. In 1867, a man named Samuel Plimsoll had the idea to paint a line on the side of the hull where it was safe to sail the ship. In port, cargo was to be loaded until the line on the hull was at the water line, and no more. When you are at your Plimsoll line, say NO. No more commitments, no more meetings, no more tasks. Don’t blow yourself up by stretching yourself too thin. Say no, and live happily.

11. Avoid the news.

Whether it be on TV, radio or newspaper, the news wants to dump negativity and new problems on us. Obviously this will not help you. Avoid it.

HOW TO REDUCE STRESS & AVOID BURNOUT

1. Don’t equate success with superhuman effort.

Make up your mind you do not have to work this hard, at this pace, to be successful. You don’t have to work yourself to burnout to succeed. Don’t equate “whatever it takes sacrifice” with success. We’ve all heard the idea of giving 110%. But the fact is you can’t give more than 100%, and trying will lead to a quality of life we didn’t want in the first place. Remember, when it’s all over and you are facing death one day, you won’t wish you worked harder and longer. You’ll probably think about the relationships and experiences you had, and want to live longer to have more of them. It’s the journey, not the destination. (“The cereal is the prize.”) If you have it in your head that you will only be happy when you have reached your lofty goals, you will never be happy. And if you are, it will only be for a few days until you set another goal to chase. You must learn to enjoy the daily ride – the process of growing and being your best self.

2. Allow time to renew.

Some people love their work, and need less time off to feel restored. But the fact is, we need time off to do other things, or to just chill. “Re-creation” happens when we do things that are fun to us that require little stress and challenge. Remind yourself of why we work – to enjoy other things in the world with other people.

Remind yourself there is an “Art of Living”. We must be masters in that art. We must create a life and schedule that makes us happy. Our business is a vehicle for us to accomplish our personal goals – and everyone wants to be happy. It does no good to accomplish goals and be unhappy. What makes one person happy is different than what makes another happy, but everyone wants to be, deserves to be, and should be happy.

3. Find your spot between chaos and order.

Growing your business can be messy. People are not good at their jobs yet, making mistakes, and processes not in place yet. It can make you very uncomfortable. Grow at a pace you feel comfortable with. There is nothing wrong with taking a period to “stabilize and organize”, and not take on new things until you feel you are ready. Give yourself permission to do what it takes to be happy.

4. Master your attention.

Focus. Eliminate distraction. We live where our attention is. Our body may be here, but our mind is somewhere else. That’s two worlds to navigate at once, and it leads to stress.

We like to think we can “multi-task” as a strategy to get more done and keep up with the demands we put on ourselves. But there is no such thing as multi-tasking. When I am buttoning my shirt and go to slip on my shoes at the same time, I stop buttoning my shirt until I am done with the shoes, then my hands begin to move again. Multi- tasking is really “multi–switching”, and it can be part of what drives us crazy. It’s ok to do one thing at a time. It’s more than ok. It’s how we do our best work, and it’s what makes life pleasurable. Be present to where you are. Do your best on one thing at a time.

In “An Unbeatable Mind”, Navy Seal Mark Devine writes “Simplify the battlefield”. When there is a lot going on, chose just one objective, and focus on that. Get a small win.

5. Manage your time.

We could be managing our time actively, and still feel like we can’t get it all done. While we may be managing our time, we are not being realistic, and we are left feeling frustrated. Not getting what you wanted to get done could be the execution, or the expectation. Be realistic about your time management.

6. Love the problems.

If you had no business, no ambition, and lived an empty life, you’d still have problems. You wouldn’t feel good about yourself, you’d have no resources to do anything, and have few opportunities. You can’t escape problems, and the bigger the goals, the bigger and more numerous the problems. Problems will happen – love the problems.

“Don’t just accept what is, love what is.” -Marcus Aurelius

The paradox of fire and goodwill are the same – a fire uses obstacles for fuel and consumes them. Goodwill can use obstacles as fuel too. Use problems to get better.

7. Choose your response.

“Between stimulus and response there is a space. In that space lies our ability to choose. In this choice lies our greatest freedom and greatest opportunity.” -Viktor Frankl

When expectations and reality differ, burnout can occur. When things don’t go well, or according to our expectations, we are not happy and become stressed. But when we set those expectations we did not have the advantage of knowing how things would actually go when we tried them. Perhaps it wasn’t what we did that was the problem, but the expectation in the first place. Maybe it was a little of both. Failure and struggle are necessary parts of learning. Resolve to accept the worst. Ask, “what is the worst that can happen?” Resolve to accept it if it did happen. Then don’t worry about it anymore and go to work to ensure it doesn’t happen. Marcus Aurelius talks about your “Inner Citadel”; a place inside you that nothing can penetrate – unless we let it. Epictetus said “It is not what happens that is the problem, but people’s thoughts about what happens.”

Separate what happens from you. Success or failure - you are not what happens.

8. Take care of ones you love.

Family is obviously important to happiness. When you are happy at home, you can handle a lot more and problems seem small. When you are not, you have trouble with everything and you can’t focus.

9. Help other people.

When we are burned out, it may seem like we have little to give. But helping others one on one can make us feel better, and give our lives meaning. Even if it’s calling someone who is having a difficult time, or offering a smile. What we give comes back to us.

10. Creative activities.

If boredom and feeling stuck is part of our burnout issue, then get creative. Listen to audio books, podcasts, read and learn new things. It can reignite our energies.

11. Celebrate victories.

Sometimes we focus on the bad things, and lose sight of all we HAVE accomplished. Celebrate with those who helped you get there, and with those you love. Chances are, it’s not as bad as we think, and celebrating can give us perspective.

12. Get mentored / be a mentor.

We can ask someone to mentor us. Talking to someone who has been there before, or someone who is wise where we don’t seem to be can help. Alternatively, there’s a good chance that we know many answers already, and by mentoring someone else, we are also reminding ourselves about what is important.

13. Commit.

Sometimes, for some of us, stress could be caused partly by feeling that we don’t know what we want to do with our lives. Feeling like maybe we should be doing something else, even if we don’t know what that is. Don’t be here when you want to be somewhere else. Commit to doing the job 100% - at least for now. Don’t be looking or wondering elsewhere.

Don’t call these strategies “slowing down”, otherwise you’ll not be likely to do them. Smart leaders know how to manage themselves, and their minds, bodies and emotions. Avoiding burnout is our first option. If we get burned out, recognizing it and getting healed will be necessary before we do damage to our relationships, business and ourselves.

In combination, these strategies will help you be optimistic, productive and happy.